One of the persistent
companions for some people on the spiritual journey is doubt. Doubt puts us in
a painful and lonely place and is even said to be a major block to our
evolution. But, we’re human, and there it is, creeping up on us unexpectedly.
On the other hand, doubt
brings us face-to-face with the very shamanic experience of having no solid
ground under our feet. It calls in the ‘not-knowing’. The willingness to not
know the answers, although it can be scary, is the fertile space of darkness in
which new worlds are born.
For
a little while, recently, I came to the edge of my courage and belief to a
place of uncertainty: of my journey, my practice of shamanism and even of
myself. I no longer knew myself as a 'hollow bone' or conduit of Spirit, and instead
was asking whether I should even be doing this work.
But
Spirit had plans and led me to contact Sandra Ingerman, an American
shaman, one of the foremost exponents of world shamanism today. I put my doubts
directly to her.
Here’s part of her response: “Shamanism is a practice of direct
revelation. This means that it is up to the helping spirits to come up with
healing methods and solutions to client's issues. The practitioner does not
diagnose or perform healings without consulting first with helping spirits. For
they see the issue from a different perspective than we can see from a human
egoic level of awareness.’
This
simple reminder brought me back to my courage. Of course the way to work with any
issues, at least from where I am right now, is through my beautiful, reciprocal
relationship with power animals and guides!
What joyful support from
the other side of Mother Earth through the magic of both Spirit and technology.
Wanting to
integrate this more, I asked in a shamanic journey to be shown the essence of
Shaman. No answer. That night, I went to bed with the same request.
The next morning
I received an email from Narelle Nicholls, a sculptor, who makes life-size clay
‘dwelling places for spirit.’ After a day of email discussion on a range of
things, she offered to send a picture of her spirit home for wolf/shaman. This
felt like an important moment.
It takes my breath away that Narelle’s vision so perfectly
transmits the core of Sandra’s message. Here is power through the eyes of
Spirit while Shaman takes the secondary role as ‘hollow bone’, channel,
immersed in Spirit, ego-free and seeing from the heart.
I feel that I have a lot to learn from this teaching and
this spirit being.
I know that sound.
